Taking a Stand 

A friend of mine recently got beheaded by his girlfriend and it all happened rather abruptly.  Maybe he was clueless as to what he did wrong, as us guys are always the last to know, but in this case it was more a case of parent intervention.  A parent that wanted her daughter to shoot for that ever higher. 

After the initial thrill of the chase, after 80% of the secrets have been revealed, when you reach that point of thinking of saying you love them and pondering eternity together, it's time to get serious.  Bret and Jermaine know it best... "It's business time..."  Serious means you must be kid tested, parentally approved. 

Parents always want the best for their children, but frick man!  They can be such a meddling bunch.  Asian parents might seem publicly passive, but they are not going be chill.  They are going to ask for it all in your sig other and look at it closer than that extra $2 bowl of rice charge on a restaurant bill at checkout.  It's always the same things... race, religion, education, job, annual income, and what kind of family does he/she come from.  We are Asian, so we don't talk about drug use, or amount of babies the person already has, it's automatically assumed that those stats are zero. 

If I marry a hot, sweet, uneducated girl, of course my parents are going to think she's stupid and is a gold digger.  If I marry a white girl, an ignant is going to say, "That means you'll be divorced within seven years."  But what if I want to marry a cute Christian children's pediatrics physician that has a three year-old daughter?  Hmmm...  Worth fighting for?  I'm going to have to state my case. 

My friend who got the shaft is a great guy.  Him and his ex-girl had been dating for quite a few months and had never fought, and then a week ago her father began planting seeds in her head. 

"What kind of job does he have?" 

"Project based jobs aren't secure."  

"Think about your disabled sister.  Who's going to care for her when your mother and I die?" 

"Your sister is moving into a big house this year" (Note:  Sister is Christian, husband is not)  

This is all normal sh*t if you have Asian parents that own property or if they don't own property, they own jewelry, because damn, you gotta own something and it's all about securing some physical goods for your future in case you get divorced or have kids.  But this is not the kind of stuff I'd expect to hear from someone's parents who were missionaries, God's ambassadors that fully trusted in him for guidance and livelihood. 

The girl is Christian, the guy is Christian.  Both love the Lord and each other.  Both are stable, friendly people.  They might or might not become rich later, but they'd live at least a middle class life.   Months of road trips, sitting together on the couch watching TV, walks in Disneyland, nice dinners, all over in one week because the girl's father told her that she needs to find someone with more earning potential.  Which brings us back to... marry a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. 

At some point in the relationship, your girl (or boy) has to take a stand for you.  It's not a fight that you can fight, it's something they must do on their own.  They must cry, scream, or yell with their parents and tell them that you're the one they love.  Parents are going to push and might try to push their point across for months, but when it comes decision time, I want to know that my girl talked back to them and told them that I was the one she wanted to be with.  If you're with a good person and you truly love them, your parents need to know that.  It's your life.  It's your life adventurer, your life partner. 

My friend was crushed.   They seemed like a great match.  I totally understand the earnings/education issue (he has his degree), but I thought it was hypocritical and bush league for a parent of the cloth to pull that card.  I'm more disappointed in the father than anything else.  To me it shows that even though he's a missionary, he doesn't really trust God.  The girl's last boyfriend didn't come close to treating her as well as my friend did. 

Parents intervene all the time.  My old roommate was dating this other girl that I also know very well but after a year, her father asked her to break up because he was Korean and she was Chinese.  He didn't want her marrying a Korean.  Now she's over 35, single, hasn't dated in the past ten years while he is happily married to someone else with two kids. 

It's always like this... race, religion, education, job, annual income, and what kind of family does he/she come from.  Love?  Doesn't count.  Asian parents never ask if you love the other person, that's secondary.    

If it's me, there's one thing I know for sure... If she won't to take a stand for me, then I'm out. She's got to figure out and tell me and tell the world that she wants me and needs me.  If not, I'll find someone who will, and if you're in the same situation, I'd hope that you would too. 

1. Have any of your exes not stood up for you in front of his or her parents?  What happened after that?  
2. Ever had to tell your parents to open their eyes to the one you loved?  How did that go? 

Spending Halloween As My Hero

My office goes sort of crazy for Halloween.  This year my department had a Toy Story theme.  I wasn't feelin' it but then I went to Goodwill and found my shirt for $3, cut up an ascot out of half a yard of fabric from the fabric store ($1.50), had the shorts (Hollister), shoes (black Jaime Mascaro loafers, yes they make men's shoes too), and used my Stubbs & Wootton yellow ribbon belt.  I wish I had a better wig, but this one was only $5 at Party City. 

The Claw!!!  Both the Alien and Bullseye made their costumes from scratch.  The Alien mask is felt with styrofoam ball eyes.  Bullseye stitched together a cloth saddle and tail, and did a complex paper mache horsey mask.  Seriously... middle aged white ladies are crazy with their costume making. 

I'm just Ken, and I'm here to rock you in my dream house. 

"I'll be seeing you tonight... in my dreams."   ~ Ken in Toy Story 3

The next night, I went to eat at the Gorbals, a restaurant at the Alexandria Hotel in Downtown LA, opened by season two Top Chef winner Ilan Hall.   Good thing the staff was dress up too. 

Where else would you eat progressive Jewish Irish food like bacon wrapped matzoh balls?  

And... Foie Gras, Baby Yams, Marshmallow Fluff & Cranberries?

The crispy broccoli in soy and chili sauce, the poutine (brown sugar braised pork over crispy fries), and the foie gras were very good.  The matzoh balls you sort of have to try.  They were good, but not close to being to die for. 

I can't believe I rocked this outfit again in Downtown LA and Little Tokyo.  Nobody knew what the heck I was dressed as, unless I told them.  All I could think was, "Some men dress like this everyday... gross!"

Lakers Opener and Championship Banner Ceremony

Lakers vs. Rockets - Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Hanging out with Annie!  I left my camera battery in the car and she was kicking herself for forgeting her camera, so this is the only phone pic we took. 

Great game!  I wanted to go to the team store before the first quarter started to avoid the lines to and pick up an Adidas Gold Lakers Championship Banner Jacket.  The banners on the back are all stitch on, which makes it really nice.  Good thing I went early because I got the last size Large in the building.  Man... what if I didn't go that early, I'd be kicking myself.  Last year I went at the end of the game and they were sold out of all sizes. 

Lakers win 112-110.  Most important?  We got a Chili's coupon for free chips and queso (Lakers must have 5 steals before the end of the 3rd quarter)!  

A Ride On The Orient Express 

430 km/hr (280 miles an hour) of brute force brings you from the Pudong Airport to the Longyang Rd Station, which makes you slightly closer to Shanghai proper. 

Exit the station, walk to the building next door and there you can take the Shanghai Metro into the city for 4 rmb ($.60).  If you only have one luggage and one carry on, this is all manageable.  If you have two heavy suitcases, then best to catch a taxi for 50 rmb from the Longyang Rd Station to Shanghai. 

The Maglev is an overpriced piece of machinery (1.5 billion?), but it's catchy and fast.  You start out slow, then pass bikes and houses and cars, then the cars become a blur.  The train only hits max speed during certain hours of the day, so if your train doesn't go past 350 km, then you know you're in one of those restricted time periods.  There is nothing to special about the interior of the train other than all the photo nerds pulling out their red line camera lenses to get a picture of the speedometer. 

A one way ticket is 50 yuan ($8), but if you show them anything resembling an airline ticket or reservation, then it's discounted to 40 yuan ($6).  If you want the lower rate, they will ask you for proof, so save your used boarding pass. 

20 miles in 7 minutes.  If they built a high speed train like this from LA to Vegas, we'd be there in 90 minutes. I sat down, looked out the window for a couple of minutes and it was time to get up again.  275 miles per hour.  Oh, the speed. 

P.S. Sorry, a little slow on the picture updates... they've disabled Xanga Photo Uploader!

I'm a confused mess.  I walk into to a place to order food, I pay at the counter, then they bring the food to me.  There are no trash cans, then they come by and pick up my plates.  They ask me if I need ketchup.  They ask me if I want more breadsticks. 

There are hamburger places that do this, former yogurt store turned Asian dessert cafes, italian places...  These restaurants look very fast foody.  They make you pay first, but offer you service, like a waitress at a Vegas buffet. 

Do you encounter this in other states or is this only a California thing?   Am I supposed to tip? 

I'm really overwhelmed with my Shanghai photos.  I'm almost done transferring the 1500 photos off of my camera.  There are a lot, but I can't say a lot are good.  Half are of the World Expo.  I don't even know where I should start when organizing my thoughts into blog form. 

Including the connectors, I had four flights to and from China.  On my first three flights, I sat next to old men.  BUST.  The last 13 hour flight and I sat next to a girl, but she looked really young.  I didn't talk to her the whole flight.  The flight left Incheon, the girl busted out a 10 inch fold out mirror from her purse to just admire her hair.  10 inches!  I thought, "High maintenance Korean FOB!  Ha ha ha..."  

After watching movies, eating, sleeping, we finally talked the final hour of the flight.  Ends up she's Japanese from Osaka, coming to study English in the US for a year.  And she knows NO ONE.  As with many people from overseas, her English speaking skills were not the greatest (good for a FOB), but her reading comprehension was much higher.  I found out she was going to be in Irvine, which is near me, so I offered up a list of some Japanese restaurants and stores and gave her my email address in case she had any questions about California or ever craved Japanese food. 

She emailed, so this past weekend I took her to the Japanese market, let her hunt down some Japanese/English study books, and to run some other errands and to show her the stores and restaurants around her neighborhood.  She's super cute, very sweet, but before you think anything, she's way too young... she's 21!   

When I was on the plane, all I could think was how crazy that was, to move to a country where you don't know anyone, and you're going to rent and live in a house with a white family and kids with no car in Orange County.  She's quite an adventurer.  The bus system sucks so bad here that it takes an hour to go 10 miles, but she's taken it to the major malls already.   Anyhow, I just didn't want her to feel totally lost in SoCal.  Yay, now I have a friend in Osaka!  I think it's the greatest thing, making friends from around the world. 

I don't know what kind of water I've been drinking, but the past month I've twice spent the day with different 21 year old girls.  Both were beautiful and sweet.  You'll have to wait for the Shanghai posts to see the second one.  It's not by intention or with any ulterior motive, sometimes my life is just random like that. 

Where's the most random place that you've met and made new friends with?  

It's Costume Time! 

The decision has been made and my department is going with a Toy Story theme.    

There's Buzz, Woody, Jessie, the Potatoheads, Slinky Dog, Wheezy the Penguin, Barbie, Ken, the Army Men, the Squeeze Toy Aliens, Rex the Dino, Hamm the Pig, Lil' Bo Peep, Etch-a-Sketch (taken), Big Baby, Lot's-o-Bear, Cymbal Monkey, & Bullseye (taken).

I don't want to spend more than $30 as I'm not going to wear this again and my mom is not going to be stitching me a felt suit getup.  I'm pretty blah about dressing up for Halloween since girls always get to wear hot or cute outfits (Nurses, Bumblebees, Wonder Woman, Mad Men, M&M's, witches, wenches, fairies) while guys are always left with something sleaze bally like biker, 80's rocker, construction worker, fireman, scream masks, jersey shore, gory wounded zombies, athlete, hippies, pimp with a cane, etc.  Right now I'm leaning towards the easy... dressing as Fruity Ken.  Rolling up some cargo or linen shorts, wearing some loafers or topsiders with a low buttoned shirt and an ascot. 

Who should I be?  If Toy Story was your theme, who would you be and how would you dress it up?  What are you going to be for Halloween? 

Looks like one of us had too much to drink... 

Walking Taikang Lu (this arts and crafts area in Shanghai), I caught this cat cat napping.  Even though I'm much more of a dog person, I was smitten.  =)  

I tried to bring sexy back from Shanghai. 

Fail!  Fatty here needs to lose 10 lbs... I have about 15 Suzhou mosquito bites on my arms and a bad neck tan. 

The treatment is called "ba guan" or translated "suction cup."  17 fire heated glass cups were placed on my back for about ten minutes.  The heat creates a suction that is supposed to remove the cold air out of your system as well as stimulate blood flow.  The treatment doesn't hurt at all.  I didn't feel any pain from the heat or cups.  I was instructed not to shower until the morning (I think this is due to skin being tender).   In some areas it felt like very mild bruising.  Notice the bump on my right shoulder, it was literally like a speed bump.  The marks fully go away in 7-10 days. 

This picture was taken one hour after the massage.  It's been 5 days and I don't really feel any effects to my body, other than being jetlagged.  But if it's supposed to help my immune system become stronger... I guess there's no easy way to measure that. 

My hour long massage cost 70 rmb ($10) and the cup treatment was an additional 40 rmb ($6).  If you go to Asia and have the chance to do it for cheap, it's worth a try. 

Justin Timberlake wins the battle of the Sexybacks, Round 1. 

When I left for Shanghai, Orange County was 75 degrees and Shanghai was humid and 95.  When I come back to Orange County, Shanghai was 78 and OC is 105.  WTH!!!

Anyhow, good to be back.  I was constantly on the go so I don't feel refreshed, but I did enjoy every minute of it, trying to soak in as much as I could, with a few fun stories of course.  The trip was great, ate everything imaginable, walked even more, saw some art, nightlife, Expo, and shopped like no tomorrow.  I will try and sort thru the pics in a timely manner (gimme a couple of months).  

How y'all doing?

WOW wow WOW.

I have heard all this talk about the great firewall, Google, Gmail, Facebook and Xanga outages, so it had me worried. Yes, you can get around with an outside VPN, which isn't too bad if you know someone who has the setup. Me? I have the ultimate net breaker... my phone!

I did a lot of checking and armed my phone, hoping for the best. With Verizon they have an unlimited data plan for $65 a month, which supposedly would give my android smartphone (Droid I) access to email and net surfing as long as the country had CDMA technology. Calls wouls $2 a minute, but the data plan is pro-rated only for the days I'm traveling, so if I'm traveling for 10 days, they'll only charge me $2.25 a day as long as I switch the plan back to normal when I'm back in the States. I was skeptical and didn't even think my phone would turn on, so I loaded it with as many Shanghai Metro maps, and language and travel guides and hoped for the best.

At the airport I turned on the phone Gmail and basic Google search and Hotmail worked. Later I checked Facebook and even that worked! My friend's French study abroad roommates were jealous. Even I think its insane that my phone is in a sense more powered than most computers here. =)

Anyhow, just been doing loads of eating. It's still pretty hot and humid. I'm off to see the World Expo today... wish me luck!