Ever Notice When Your Stock...

How does a firm (in this case Credit Suisse) cut it's rating on a stock from Outperform to Neutral, but same day ups it's share price projections from $5.25 to $5.60?  Man, the things these investment banks do to manipulate the market so that it's clients can buy in cheaper.  The stock dropped 10% on the downgrade announcement... but shouldn't it go up on the earnings projection?  Doesn't make sense as to why they would even downgrade.  

Wall Street speak:  For our VIP clients that receive stock analysis reports, we'll put in a downgrade so that you can buy in at a discount since we think this stock is going up within the next 6-12 months.   

Totally legal market price manipulation.  I wish the SEC would fine investment banks for giving two conflicting projections. 

Schedule this week...

Vampire Weekend - Tonight!

She & Him (M. Ward & Zooey Deschanel) - Tomorrow

Lakers vs. Thunder (Playoffs Game 1) - Sunday?

Angels vs. Tigers - Monday

Lakers vs. Thunder (Playoffs Game 2) - Tuesday? 

Something's gotta give (sell).  I don't think I can make it to all of that in the next seven days... I'll definitely be at Vampire Weekend and She & Him... 

Have a great week!

Got this weird first message from an online dating site...

Hi Howie -

I like your profile and think we have a lot in common, but I wanted to ask about the church thing, which I didn't notice till I'd already clicked accept. Eek!

It's nothing personal and no offense intended, but I generally have trouble forming intimate connections with people who are religious...

Sorry for this strange message...hope you're having a great day!

It sounds friendly, but something about it bothered me.  On the profile I checked that I'm Christian and there's one line saying that I attend church.  That's all.  I don't say I'm looking only for godly women of excellence, that people who voted for Bush Jr. were right, that I'm against abortion, or that if you smoke weed and get crunk you are the devil.  

I stewed over it for half a day.  What the heck is it that's buggin?  Kallamazam!  It's not the religion thing at all.  It's that she's already prejudiced against someone for something when she doesn't even know them.  I don't say I can't stand agnostics, or I that I can't hold conversations with Muslims, or people who curl their hair every day are too self-absorbed, or that people who like football are all brutes (None of the above are true for me).  Okay, so religion is perceived as a way of life, I get why people might be apprehensive.  Maybe it's better to just keep those thoughts to yourself instead vocalizing them to someone on an online dating site.   I respect peoples' beliefs, especially if they've taken some time to research or think about it, but I know not everyone feels that way.  There are a lot of my-way-is-the-only-way folks out there. 

I was already turned off, but I emailed back just to see if she'd say what really bugged her about churchies. 

No problem. Was there a specific question(s) you had about the church stuff?

I do go to church regularly but I don't think I'm the preachy type. I feel people need to find out for themself what they believe. I'm probably more on the liberal side socially but hold traditional family values.

Thanks for messaging, nite!

She didn't reply.  I would've preferred if she just didn't message at all.  If you want to etch-a-sketch her, she was 29, Asian, tall, and a software engineer. 

I think God just provided me with a divine sign.  Adult Friend Finder here I come!  I need to find people that don't have intimate connection issues.

What's wrong with me?  The past month I've been super sluggish.  Can I blame that on allergies?  I get that cold sweat if I don't take Claritin.  In the mornings I feel I have to clear my throat a lot.  Last year I had to take it for 7 months straight and it was drying out my lips and nostrils.  Haven't had that effect yet this year.  

I've also had a loss of appetite for the past three months.  I'll still eat, but I don't get cravings very much, other than for some avocado.  I eat probably 1/3rd less than I did six months ago.  The good thing might be that I've lost 8 lbs. over the past four months without much exercise.  If I'm somehow able to lose another 10-15 lbs, that would be a miracle.  With exercise, another 5 lbs should be a cinch, right?   You know what the goal is... to learn all those Justin Bieber dance moves! 

And I Thought I Was Satisfied With My Life...

I don't know too many of my friends that seem really satisfied with their lives.  I can't pinpoint what it is.  Sure, I don't think it's good to be complacent, but everyone seems 40% wan smile, 60% disenchanted.  Why can't it be like college, when we were carefree and happy 80%-90% of the time?   Dorm food and pizza. 

Married friends long for the days when they could travel or have a quiet dinner without worrying about their kids.  Single friends, always hoping to find Mr. or Mrs. Rest of their life at that next party, at that next church small group, that next online date, that next happy hour.  Co-workers wondering when these 3% raises will finally turn into 10% raises when they are doing 10% more work than their boss (Those 3% raises turned to no raises this year, companies using the bad economy as an excuse).   Couples living together wondering what's next, because they have no feeling of what should be next (hint:  marriage?). 

As for me, I'm far from fully satisfied, but I don't feel that my life is bleak and unlivable.  I've been trying to figure why I seem to come off as somewhat happier and more fulfilled than others?   It's not the love of Jesus.  I'm secure with that, but I have plenty of church friends that aren't happy.   It's not money.  I think people think I make way more than I actually do (but the past two years has been better).   Is it perspective?  Maybe.  But I don't know how quantifiable that is.   

A couple of months ago I read this article and thought, "Seriously?  Did I know the answer all along?"   

After reading that, I felt super blessed.  I drag myself to a lot of events... things that I want to go to but don't always have the energy to go to when the day finally comes.  But I go and once I'm there I have no regrets.  If I never see another concert or sporting event in my life, I won't feel like I've missed out.  Now I do need to travel more though... I've been deprived in that respect.  And I still need to find a way to eat macaroons every day of my life (the french kind). 

Maybe we can all try and find something non-material to tie some joy to.  My co-worker went sky diving last weekend, my cousin eats at Michelin ranked restaurants every chance, every trip she gets, another friend ice skates and went (by herself) to the Vancouver games to watch ice skating... okay these things cost money.  But biking at the beach, singing karaoke, taking that West Coast Swing class at the community center, running the 5k, working with kids at the Boys and Girls club, learning to paint, those don't cost much.  Instead of worrying about which smartphone or summer dress or car we should get next, maybe we should be out doing.   Sharing experiences with our friends, with strangers, with the world.  Making our own stories to tell. 

When my grandkids visit me at the senior home I want to tell them about how that former supermodel Tyra Banks rudely rejected me when I asked for a picture, how beautiful the Yangtze River looked before it was flooded (not as glorious as they say), how I used to dunk the basketball in games (this never happened, but they won't know the difference), the time I kissed their grandma on the Empire State Building and knew she was the one.  Even though they fade or grow bigger in our heads, in the end, it's the memories that count.  That's about all that we can take with us to our graves, may as well make them good ones.

1. What experiences/events/outings make you happy?  Do you even get the chance to do those things?
2. I still believe items can have a happiness value.  I love my iPod, my world would suck without it.  What "can't live without" items are essential for your happy happy joy joy?

Crapola, my regular concert buddy just found out she has a midterm next Wednesday!  Vampire Weekend in Pomona next Wednesday anyone?  

Men's Shoe Guide

Yesterday I scored these Paul Smith Cage Dip Dyed Shoes for only $130 (retail $500)!  At Neiman Marcus Last Call, I saw them in this tall glass case and they spoke to me.  At $220 they were a little too high for me, they looked special so I tried them on just to see... they fit perfect.   Then I remembered that the next day they were having an "any one item in the store for 40% off" sale.  I asked if they qualified and the girl said, "Yes, and you know what I can do?  I can put them on hold for you.  We can hold items for 24 hours."   So I went back and got it since it's right by my work. 

I know, they probably look like any pair of brown shoes, but they feel very well made, strong but soft leather with hand stitching in the bottoms, made in Italy and look better in person.  The puncture dots were already there, something Paul Smith put in for effect at the factory.  They have a slightly uneven brown patina, a worn in look but they aren't worn in.  Casual but formal enough for work.  9.5 is Euro Sizing, 10.5 is US, actual size is 43.5 centimeters.  Well, I thought it was a fair price, given the quality.  They don't feel like $500 quality shoes to me, more like $350 level.    

I don't know how it goes for womens shoes, but for mens, here's the levels as I see them.  Given are approximate retail prices.   

$70-130 - Rockports, Aldos, Banana Republics, Kenneth Coles.  Usually these are comfortable enough and do the trick for work as long as your work isn't super formal.  They aren't made the best, but it's passable.  I stock up when $130 BR shoes are on sale for $40.   Aldos are probably the most stylish of the bunch, but I swear I've walked into the store 10 times and never found a pair for me.

$200 - Boss (lower line), Calvin Klein, Cole Haan, Johnston Murphy, Mezlan, Camper.   It's a jump up from the previous level, but for some, the quality isn't much better, it's the just the design that makes it more expensive (Boss, Calvin Klein).  Probably Cole Haans of this group are the most well made, but they aren't as Euro stylish as the Boss shoes.  Campers are more casual but they are my fave in this range... just so comfy.

$300-$500 - Armani (mid-level), Ferragamo, Alden, Gucci, Zegna, Testoni, Varvatos, Bruno Magli, JP Tods, Brooks Brothers.  There's a huge jump in quality from $200 category to the $300 range.  Usually the $300 shoes are all made in Italy, Spain, US, vs. the $200 shoes being made in China, Vietnam, Hong Kong and sometimes Italy (but with inferior leathers). 

$600-$1500 - John Lobb, Vuitton, Prada, Barker Black, Ferragamo, Armani, Gucci.  You get soft strong leathers, classic designs in modern cuts, stand out colored leathers, alligator, ostrich, or if it's Prada, some futuristic design.  If I could afford these, I'd get Lobbs, Blacks, Armanis, or Ferragamos... the more classic designs.  Not a fan of Gucci quality for the money you pay.  But if you gotta look baller trendy... why wouldn't you rock some Kanye Vuittons? 

These prices don't really mean much to me because I'm always looking for stuff that's 50%-80% off.  Maybe this can help you if you're looking for shoes for your man or if you just wondered what the differences were between the various names.   Like how it's a big jump in price from Jimmy Choos to Christian Louboutins.  Mens shoes are not all the same and sizes vary widely by maker.  Sometimes I'm a 10, 10.5, or 11 in dress shoes.  BUT if it says Euro size 43... I always fit that perfectly.  Maybe I was born to be a Euro! 

If you're job doesn't require them, then really you only need two quality pairs of dress shoes... one black, one brown.  And to all the guys who'll drop $200-$300 on a pair of retro Jordans, but won't spend $150 to buy yourself some quality dress shoes?  Time to even out the collection. 

This will sound crazy, but one day I'd love to get a pair of custom John Lobb's made in London (different from the mass produced ones you see at Hermes).  They cost about $3k a pair and up.  You can pick your design, color of leather (yes, you can get blue or purple), if you want buckles on in, and they make custom wood lasts just for your shoe.  They are generally considered the best shoes one can ever get made.  It's not to show off, because my friends wouldn't know the difference.  It would just be cool to pick out my design and have it made from the finest materials and craftsmanship.  All this after I get my house, wifey, and kids. 

Cousins

Family came to visit.  Three of these ladies are sisters and my cousins.  I think my uncle and aunt had a pretty good genetic mix. 

My cousins' kids.  Two on the left are brother and sister.  Two on the right are sisters.  The one on the right is gorgeous, no?  Hands off, she's only 19!  Her little sister, when she was 10, for a school project the teacher asked the students what their favorite thing about London was (they live in London).  She answered, "Shopping at Harrod's!"  Aiya. 

Howie's Birthday Dinner @ Cucina Alessa - March 9, 2010

"We gon' party like it's your birthday, We gon sip Bacardi like it's your birthday..." That was soooo one month ago.  Usually I don't plan jack for my birthday, but for some reason this year I organized a small dinner.  Truthfully, it was because I really wanted to find a restaurant on Yelp to try. 

I don't like organizing birthday dinners because it seems like such a self-serving thing.  Maybe it looks better if a sig other or best friend sends out the evite?   Wah wah, I also loathe finding a non-chain restaurant that can fit a big party.  One year a friend called and asked if I wanted a birthday dinner.  I said sure.  Then she asked what I wanted to eat.  I ended up planning the whole thing, all she did was ask if I wanted a dinner, but didn't have intentions of planning or organizing it.  Has that ever happened to you?  Man, it's so much work.  This year I tried to keep it small and it still ended up being 15 people. 

I saw the glowing reviews and gave Cucina Alessa in Huntington Beach a call.  They could fit our party and on top of that, on Tuesdays, food is 15% off... even for big parties.  Score!  

Their butternut squash raviolis with sage were so sweet, they melted in our mouths like candy.  Pictures of the other dishes didn't come out that well due to the restaurant's mood lighting.  All the dishes were spot on.  I got the chicken marsala with potatoes, other's got raviolis, sausage mushroom penne, salmon with risotto and numerous other dishes.  The only one I would avoid is the sea bass.  It was done well, but it cost more and it didn't stand out like the pastas did.  Our server was a doll and they gave us a great table on the second floor overlooking the street corner. 

Katie & Kevin.

Dana & Mike.

Jackie & Doris.

Annie & Howard.

Chanrith.

Michelle & Kristie (sisters!).

Not pictured:  Sam & Quoc. 

It was just the way I wanted it.  Half guys, half girls, everyone eating and talking late.  Nobody brought gifts or gift cards because I planned it only a few days before.  Classic was one friend sharing her proposal story while the two girls next to her were scaring her about how divorce can or might happen.  One just-engaged person, one pregnant girl, two divorcees, one high schooler, a couple of college students, two teachers, one ex-Navy, a physical therapist, a mechanic, a city traffic coordinator... a varied crowd in age and otherwise.  Everyone loved the food (none of us had ever eaten there before... whew!) and seemed to have a great time. 

The one thing I hate about birthday dinners is when the check comes and then the person collecting the money finds out that they're $30 short and goes around asking everyone, "Hey, can I have $3 more dollars?  Thanks man..."   Maybe it doesn't happen with your friends, but it does with mine.  I always wonder if the birthday person thinks, "That sucks, I'm not even worth an extra $3?" 

One glass of wine had it's effect on me and I said, "Damnit, that's not happening to me!"  When the waitress walked off I followed and picked up the tab since it was me that called everyone out and I want to thank them for their friendship (and also because I'm single, don't have kids, don't have to make house payments, so I can only afford to do this for another year or two).   At the end it was awkward, because it was getting late for a weeknight and the bill hadn't come.  But at the same time, I didn't want to tell people, "You know you can go now... the bill is already done with."  There's no tactful way to really say that.   So finally it became time and I said, "Well, it's getting late..."  When people found out it was already paid they were like, "WTF?!?"  One friend joked, "Darn, instead of sharing w/ my husband, I shoulda ordered my own dish!" 

It was a fun dinner.  I don't think I appreciate my friends often enough.  I actually feel bad that all I got them was a meal. 

Would our worlds be different if we gave out gifts of thanks to our friends and family on our birthday instead of getting gifts? 

I missed the Lakers playoff ticket presale today because instead I rushed out of my office to talk to the cops.  This guy making a left turn had hit a bicyclist.  I heard the crash from my 2nd story cube, I'm by the corner, at the window, so within five seconds I was out of my seat and watching the aftermath.  I looked at one of the lights and saw it turn green.   That meant that the driver had right of way and that the homeless looking biker was in the wrong.  Just wanted to let the cops know that (biker's light went from red to green after the accident).

He had on a faded Jack Skellington sweatshirt to go with his scraped up bloody elbow.  Biker was trying to make a scene.  When a Mercedes hit me at 50 mph nose-to-nose running a red light, it was witness testimony (people that were walking around the park doing morning exercise) that made my case easy for my lawyer and insurance company.  I thought me saying something would save the driver from being at fault.   My boss first said, "OMG, don't get involved!"  Then I came back and the other ladies were like, "We're proud of you."  Haha.  Whatevers, I didn't do it for you. 

Yesterday was not the day to start off work.  I got an email letting me know that one of my co-workers had to fly to Florida in the middle of the night.   She got a call in the middle of the night from Celebrity Cruise Lines, where her son had just started his new job last week.  He was a dancer, 21.  Their family is black, and she's Christian, so I've had some churchy talks with her before.   If you can't take graphic, then skip the next paragraph. 

They got the call because her son was airlifted off the cruise liner in the Carribean.  His foot got caught in the rotating platform, I don't know it was moving up or down, or to the side.  Probably up and down, maybe when one stage goes up and another comes down.   The platform caught his foot and as was described to me "de-gloved" his foot.  That means that the skin was fully stripped off the foot with some bone.   I get shiver just thinking about it.  Like cutting off the rubber on the side of a wire so that you can expose the copper?  Like going around the middle of a peach with a knife and pulling off the meat so that you can see the seed?   Can they do a graft?  I don't know.  Not so much the knee, but more foot and ankle damage, multiple breaks, so severe that they were talking about amputation.  Just breaks my heart.  It's crazy how our whole lives can change in seconds.  I've been praying for them. 

I just heard a story about my company's big annual corporate party.  The ROY (Rookie of the Year) Sales Stud was found naked, bloody, and ass beat in the bushes at the company rented resort facility.  Apparently him and another company sales person got into an argument at the bar and took it outside.   Both got fired on the spot for embarrassing the company.   That had me laughing.  Way to piss away a $200k-300k job. 

How does the new healthcare bill with benefit or un-benefit people like me and you in the middle class?  Is there an easy way to summarize it? 

My physical therapy ended this week after two months.  I was getting work on my lower back and foot/ankle.  Basically they had me doing stretching exercises to strength and loosen up my core.  Now the foot... might or might not be tied to the back.  I don't think it is, but who knows.  I was diagnosed with a constricted nerve in the foot.  For some reason it's not able to flow or move freely, so it gets pinched sometimes.  This all started because I stood in line for four hours at the Oakley Factory Sale last May. 

The therapist had to stretch out my foot and leg in an extreme way to hit the pain spot.   Mainly he would do flossing, which is just moving that area back and forth with a little bit of strain to hopefully loosen up the area where the nerve is so that it can flow better.  My back is at 95% and my foot is now at 85%-90%, that last 10% is going to take a long time to get fixed, so I told him I'd do that on my own.  At least I feel good doing some running now.    

If you have legitimate pains here and there, I would definitely recommend using that medical insurance to take care of yourself through PT or accupuncture.  We only have one body, right? 

I think I asked this a couple years ago... but once again... Lasik... should I get it?  I'm seriously thinking about doing it this year.  Have you or your friends gotten it?  How's their vision now?  Any horror stories or side effects?   

I used to write about fun useless things.  What's happened to me?   =)

Some Bastard's Dating Criteria

Okay, there seems to be some confusion as to my standards.  In the last entry, the list I created was a mockery of the similar type of specific things that come out of friends and acquaintances' mouths. 

My dating criteria has always been much more basic...

• 5'0" or taller.  4'10" is just way too short, I'm 6 feet. 
• Open to all races, but more inclined to be with Asian or Caucasian.  
• Cares about her body.  Doesn't mean she has to be athletic or skinny, just want her to be health conscious.     
• Is kind to the wait staff. 
• Understands my sarcasm at least 50% of the time. 
• Has her own interests.  Knitting, scrapbooking, pilates, jogging, reading the New England Journal of Medicine, I don't care what it is, but she's got to have some side hobbies or interests.  I want her to have her own identity.   Being with me... I wouldn't want any girl to define herself that way.   Plus, that's straight scary. 
• Would be easier if she was Christian, but these days, I don't know.  I see a lot of Non-Christians that are more Christian than Christians.  When people leave the church, 90% of the time it's because another Christian or a hypocritical Christian turned them off.   Sad that I had to say that. 
• Conversely, I'm finding it's hard to find Christian girls who are in tune with what's going on in the world (there's a new healthcare bill, earthquake in Haiti, drug wars in Mexico) and can appreciate some secular things, like a glass of wine, an arthouse film, a baseball or basketball game, a danceable hip-hop song, etc.   (Yeah, I'll admit, this part probably comes off as picky, but hey, I don't want a religious hermit.)
• Doesn't need me to check in every hour with her.  Doesn't have a problem with me watching the game with the guys once a month. 
• She has BFF girl friends.  If she only has male friends, then I run! 
• Appreciates the fine things, but doesn't have to justify herself with purchases.  Maybe she wants a $500 blender because she bakes all the time, or a $1,000 purse because she wants to look good in her business environment, whatever, as long as she gets use out of what she buys and appreciates it vs. keeping up with the Joneses.   

Anyhow, that's a basic idea of what I really think when I'm dating.  Don't over think it, because I didn't spend much time writing this up and it's not a complete list.  I like to keep it open and feel that when I meet people, things will fall into their own place.  I want to be open to the point where I can meet great people, not just some dream person I've concocted in my head, because there isn't such a person.  What makes people perfect personalities are their imperfections.  I don't want to miss that if she's standing right in front of me. 

1. What are your dating filters?  You gotta tell me why chose them too! 
2. If you're married, looking back, of the qualities that you were looking for when you were single, which ones are still relevant to your successful marriage?  Which standards on your dating list ended up being irrelevant?     

It sucks when you go to a club or lounge and they don't play good music.  We went to two of those places Saturday.  Want to kill a party and have everyone scatter like ants?  Throw on Outkast's "Hey Ya!" at 1 a.m. and try and get people to relive 2003.   They should reserve that time for new hip-hop or classic dance like New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle" or Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam or 80s Rock. 

Lisa Lisa's "I Wonder If I Take You Home"  has to be one of my all time faves... 

I'm not a vampire, but I love driving home from LA @ 2 a.m.  It's serene.  The freeway is empty and I get to think for 40 minutes with NPR's "This American Life." 

Lady Gaga... scored VIP early entry floor tix for both LA shows.  I get to be at or near the front!  Now I just gotta pick which day I want to go...

Operation Ticket Gaga 2010 - NY fail (got zero for three shows, trying for 80 minutes), Boston success, San Jose success.  Are you going? 

If Dating Is So Easy, Why Aren't You Dating?

A friend asked if I ever met somone I would've married but the timing just wasn't right.  I told her, "Most definitely.  There are a few people I could've spent my whole life with, but I either met them too early (friend's trap) or too late (they were already dating, then ended up marrying that person).  

I'm finding that my friends all want to date, but that doesn't mean they're open to it.  It seems like the people that somewhat enjoy their dates are the ones that are able to let go and go with the flow.  I feel that Asians are especially guilty of this (and they don't even realize it!).  Graduate degree, job (bio, computer science, law, medical), income, the person has two still married parents, the guy has to be over 5'10", athletic, charming, caring, expressive, not clingy, gentlemanly, good looking, doesn't wear farmer jeans. 

Have we ever gone over my standards?  5'8" (5'7" is okay), Chinese/Taiwanese preferable, has perfect English, can understand Mandarin or Cantonese or both, UC educated or better, is a pharmacist, nurse, or optometrist (that way she has the potential to make more than me without the long hours, which will save her from getting having low energy and being stressed out), is artistic, musical, athletic (plays tennis, volleyball or basketball or all three, as well as run and swim on the side), isn't clingy, but clings on when she's cold or scared or hears her favorite slow song, is good with dogs, watches football, baseball and basketball, knows how to carry a baby in her arms, doesn't dance like a dork, no man hands, no varicose veins, doesn't get colds more than once a year, will zing me with her sarcasm while she spoons me some of the dinner she just cooked...  

I can hear you laughing and saying, "Good Luck Zowie...  you ain't all that yourself!"  If I told you all of that, you would love me but laugh at me for being so stupid.  But it's the exact same thing I hear from girls (and some guys).  Their lists and standards.    

1. Do any of you ever feel that you're friends aren't going to be able to date because they've created unrealistic/perfectionist standards for their wannabe mate?  
2. If it's not our standards/barriers that hinder us from meeting great people, then what is it?  Opportunity?  Time?  Hangups with past relationships?  Something else?    

Who's Been Looking Through My Email?

If you haven't noticed, someone has been looking through your email too.  It's your boss!  If you work for a major company, then they are bound to have email filters.  Gone are the days in your cube where you could forward emails of Polish jokes, Mexican jokes, Chinese jokes, Black jokes, dumb blonde jokes, fat people pictures, people with weird tattoos and piercings, etc.   Your work email is now officially boring. 

I'm figuring most of you are already aware of all of this, but if you never really thought about it, then now's the time.   Back in the days, people used to spend all their work time on their phone and almost get fired for it.  Nowadays, it's probably safer to waste work time on the phone vs. exchanging email messages with your co-workers and friends.  Your emails are 10x more likely to get audited.  If you're on the phone, everyone probably thinks you're talking to a vendor, client, or resolving a problem for a customer.

Last month two of my co-workers got fired for an email exchange.  Some email printout about generalizations of a certain race/culture were left on the printer.  Someone saw it, thought it inappropriate, and left it anonymously on a supervisor's desk.  Then they began a trace of where the email came from.  This required going through everyone in the department's emails, trashed emails, etc. to find the related attachment.   Nope, not my department, whew! 

Poke, poke, poke and you are bound to find more than you were looking for.  Like when you were looking for money in your parent's underwear drawer and found your dad's condoms or your mom's dildo.  Well, in this case, the search for the email attachment unearthed disturbing email conversations between two employees/friends.   Lo and behold, there was the attachment.  And a few emails away there were some crass and stupid generalization emails about black people.  Then one lady went on to say to her friend, "I'm gonna try and get that ***blank name*** black person fired if it's the last thing I do." 

What year are we in... 2010?  How stupid can you be?  Management was stunned when they found about all that and then some.  The person who said that doesn't even have the power to fire anyone, which means she was plotting something.  It took a couple weeks of email research, but once it was discovered, both long time employees were fired the next day.  

Racism and prejudice don't surprise me.  Do all black people eat watermelon and fried chicken?  I don't know, but I eat it too.  Do all Asians have to use siracha when they eat? (I prefer straight red chili flakes in oil)  Why are brunettes smarter?  I have my own generalizations that I don't think are "that" bad.  Don't you?  We all do to some degree.  But even if you think that, even if you talk about it with your closest friends, how stupid can you be that you'd put it on a work email?  Not professional, not a equal opportunity environment, opens employer up to prejudice liability.   Seriously...  how dumb can you be. 

This is my plea to you...  Don't send dumb emails.  Heck, you might not even want to open the crazy ones that your friends send.  If someone walks by while you're reading the email, they could be offended just by seeing it.  Like a picture of a guy sitting on a bike with plumber's crack.  A cartoon of two Olympic Mascots making out.  That leprechaun wishing you good luck if you forward this email to ten people today. Even if you don't respond, you could put your job in jeopardy. 

Don't talk crap about your boss via email, don't message your GF that you want to screw her brains out tonite, don't tell email your lunch buddy in the next cube that new girl in customer service is hot, don't admit how drunk you were last night, don't make fun of the fatties at work, don't call peoples of certain races dumb, no more fag jokes, if you have to think about it, then just say no.  Whatever you do, just don't send it through your work email address. 

I'm not the IT guy nor the boss and even I know my married in debt co-worker with a failing marriage cheated on her husband and banged the married lead sales exec.  How?  Because the IT guys saw the email and told me about it over a few beers.   And then I told the whole world on Xanga.