March 27, 2010
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Some Bastard’s Dating Criteria
Okay, there seems to be some confusion as to my standards. In the last entry, the list I created was a mockery of the similar type of specific things that come out of friends and acquaintances’ mouths.
My dating criteria has always been much more basic…
- 5’0″ or taller. 4’10″ is just way too short, I’m 6 feet.
- Open to all races, but more inclined to be with Asian or Caucasian.
- Cares about her body. Doesn’t mean she has to be athletic or skinny, just want her to be health conscious.
- Is kind to the wait staff.
- Understands my sarcasm at least 50% of the time.
- Has her own interests. Knitting, scrapbooking, pilates, jogging, reading the New England Journal of Medicine, I don’t care what it is, but she’s got to have some side hobbies or interests. I want her to have her own identity. Being with me… I wouldn’t want any girl to define herself that way. Plus, that’s straight scary.
- Would be easier if she was Christian, but these days, I don’t know. I see a lot of Non-Christians that are more Christian than Christians. When people leave the church, 90% of the time it’s because another Christian or a hypocritical Christian turned them off. Sad that I had to say that.
- Conversely, I’m finding it’s hard to find Christian girls who are in tune with what’s going on in the world (there’s a new healthcare bill, earthquake in Haiti, drug wars in Mexico) and can appreciate some secular things, like a glass of wine, an arthouse film, a baseball or basketball game, a danceable hip-hop song, etc. (Yeah, I’ll admit, this part probably comes off as picky, but hey, I don’t want a religious hermit.)
- Doesn’t need me to check in every hour with her. Doesn’t have a problem with me watching the game with the guys once a month.
- She has BFF girl friends. If she only has male friends, then I run!
- Appreciates the fine things, but doesn’t have to justify herself with purchases. Maybe she wants a $500 blender because she bakes all the time, or a $1,000 purse because she wants to look good in her business environment, whatever, as long as she gets use out of what she buys and appreciates it vs. keeping up with the Joneses.
Anyhow, that’s a basic idea of what I really think when I’m dating. Don’t over think it, because I didn’t spend much time writing this up and it’s not a complete list. I like to keep it open and feel that when I meet people, things will fall into their own place. I want to be open to the point where I can meet great people, not just some dream person I’ve concocted in my head, because there isn’t such a person. What makes people perfect personalities are their imperfections. I don’t want to miss that if she’s standing right in front of me.
- What are your dating filters? You gotta tell me why chose them too!
- If you’re married, looking back, of the qualities that you were looking for when you were single, which ones are still relevant to your successful marriage? Which standards on your dating list ended up being irrelevant?
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Comments (7)
My dating standards have often been criticized by my friends. I guess I’ve learned in my past dating experiences that I shouldn’t be “settling for less than the best”.
My main filter is Chinese vs. Not Chinese. I’m a first generation Chinese American and my parents’ English is limited. I don’t want to be translating and I also want my spouse to be able to communicate with my parents. I’m close to my parents so I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable with sitting down for a meal listening to our jibberish. Most of my friends criticize me for this as they date outside of their ethnicity/race. I like to think there are tons of Chinese guys around, it’s just that you gotta siphon out the right one. :-p
Another filter is the height factor. I’m relatively tall for an Asian girl. I’m 5’7″+. 5’10″ would be the minimum I guess (I did date a guy who was my height, that lasted for less than one month). Despite going to UCI (known for having A LOT of Asians), I’ve realized most Asian guys were short.
Besides that, I don’t date guys who smoke or if they do, they should be willing to quit. Gambling is another thing I cross off. Poor mannerisms too (cussing, name calling, violent, etc.). Materialistic guys, no thanks. Frugal, no thanks. Religious, no thanks (I’m agnostic).
What’s he gotta have: a car (don’t want to be driving him around!), a stable job, an educational background, a good family, compassion, humor, independence, maturity, at least average looks (I dated the ugliest guy in the world before and I’ll never do that again because his personality did not compensate at all! Not kidding.)
I guess I am picky. Oh well.
keepin it real
. word up howie
LOL!!! You must have gotten some interesting comments to post this
@VidaLoca - Well if they took my last entry literally, they are off. Just wanted to clarify.
@JennY71887 - Yes, you shouldn’t settle. But if you’re an average person in college (like I consider most of us to be average), that will probably be the time where you will have the biggest concentration of people chasing you. If you achieve fame, then yeah, more people will pursue you later, but for the most part, it slows down after college.
I feel in general women should adjust their standards as they age (as well as men, but in different ways). I don’t think it’s so much of lowering standards, but more of shifting priorities. There’s nothing wrong with high standards, but when girls get to a certain age (somewhere in their 30s), if they keep on upping the looks, education, income and everything else standards as they themselves get more successful, it’s a losing proposition because men just end up going younger (sad but true).
Your standards are definitely reasonable. You wanting to find a Chinese boy is totally understandable with the family stuff. Everyone has a few non-negotiable qualities that they require, right?
The height requirement might be a little tougher to fill. You should be able to find a 5’9″ or taller decent guy, but you know how it is, Asian guys over 5’10″ aren’t that plentiful. Cut that down to Chinese, that’s even less! There are times I’ll be in a public place (like a concert) with a mixed crowd and realize that I’m one of the taller people in the room. Gotta say, I love that feeling.
When looking at online profiles, girls always put they want the guy to be 5’10″ and taller. For you it’s a legit reason, but for girls that are 5’0″? C’mon. They need to lower that to 5’6″. All the shorter guys need lovin’ too you know!
My criteria is simple: she doesn’t smoke and isn’t all about herself.
RYC: Ugh. 300 lbs sweating man… how unattractive. How do you survive it?
o_O*
@chrispycrunch - Chris, Chris, Chris… you have to be all about the girl because it really is all about her. Any girl can tell you that!