March 23, 2010
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It sucks when you go to a club or lounge and they don’t play good music. We went to two of those places Saturday. Want to kill a party and have everyone scatter like ants? Throw on Outkast’s “Hey Ya!” at 1 a.m. and try and get people to relive 2003. They should reserve that time for new hip-hop or classic dance like New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” or Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam or 80s Rock.
Lisa Lisa’s “I Wonder If I Take You Home” has to be one of my all time faves…
I’m not a vampire, but I love driving home from LA @ 2 a.m. It’s serene. The freeway is empty and I get to think for 40 minutes with NPR’s “This American Life.”
Lady Gaga… scored VIP early entry floor tix for both LA shows. I get to be at or near the front! Now I just gotta pick which day I want to go…
Operation Ticket Gaga 2010 – NY fail (got zero for three shows, trying for 80 minutes), Boston success, San Jose success. Are you going?
If Dating Is So Easy, Why Aren’t You Dating?
A friend asked if I ever met somone I would’ve married but the timing just wasn’t right. I told her, “Most definitely. There are a few people I could’ve spent my whole life with, but I either met them too early (friend’s trap) or too late (they were already dating, then ended up marrying that person).
I’m finding that my friends all want to date, but that doesn’t mean they’re open to it. It seems like the people that somewhat enjoy their dates are the ones that are able to let go and go with the flow. I feel that Asians are especially guilty of this (and they don’t even realize it!). Graduate degree, job (bio, computer science, law, medical), income, the person has two still married parents, the guy has to be over 5’10″, athletic, charming, caring, expressive, not clingy, gentlemanly, good looking, doesn’t wear farmer jeans.
Have we ever gone over my standards? 5’8″ (5’7″ is okay), Chinese/Taiwanese preferable, has perfect English, can understand Mandarin or Cantonese or both, UC educated or better, is a pharmacist, nurse, or optometrist (that way she has the potential to make more than me without the long hours, which will save her from getting having low energy and being stressed out), is artistic, musical, athletic (plays tennis, volleyball or basketball or all three, as well as run and swim on the side), isn’t clingy, but clings on when she’s cold or scared or hears her favorite slow song, is good with dogs, watches football, baseball and basketball, knows how to carry a baby in her arms, doesn’t dance like a dork, no man hands, no varicose veins, doesn’t get colds more than once a year, will zing me with her sarcasm while she spoons me some of the dinner she just cooked…
I can hear you laughing and saying, “Good Luck Zowie… you ain’t all that yourself!” If I told you all of that, you would love me but laugh at me for being so stupid. But it’s the exact same thing I hear from girls (and some guys). Their lists and standards.
- Do any of you ever feel that you’re friends aren’t going to be able to date because they’ve created unrealistic/perfectionist standards for their wannabe mate?
- If it’s not our standards/barriers that hinder us from meeting great people, then what is it? Opportunity? Time? Hangups with past relationships? Something else?
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dear howie, you will definitely not date me. i’m 5’4-5, not in the medical field, not sporty and get colds regularly. hahaha but seriously though, when it comes down to it, think about the last person you were in love with – she was most definitely not 100% perfect… therefore, get rid of those stupid lists. they may be a guideline, but they most definitely cannot be a set criteria
lol you’re just asking for the full package (good looks, educated, healthy, wealthy, nurturing). that’s fine as long as you can be the same! lol. my friends have always scrutinized my need to have my future husband Chinese. have yours?
stop being so picky! everyone wants the whole package, but there always taken!
@jillstarr - Let’s see, the last girls I dated were 5’2″, 5’4″, 5’5″, 5’6″, listed in height order. See, I didn’t even put smoking on the list… my only set criteria is loves me long time! Haha, okay, loves me short time is okay too.
@JennY71887 - Being Chinese is not a hard requirement for me. It’s makes things easier culturally, but I’m open to most cultures/nationalities. As for the full package, that’s exactly my point. I say all that and try to be as much as I can, but I’ll always fall short. And then I see my friends and they say all that but they aren’t or aren’t trying to be half of what they require. Lists are great to help you filter, but when you’re dating, you’re dating a person, not a list. How come people forget that?
@aliceandrandy - Haha, tell my friends to not be so picky! They’re decent looking but haven’t had a date in six months, a year, or even years. I’m not a picky dater. Maybe for marriage I’d be pickier, but that’s understandable, right? The people with the whole package are always taken… that’s a myth too. I think we build them up to be the whole package, but they have plenty of shortcomings too.
I never understood how you constantly score bomb ass tickets to concerts / shows. I’m in awe
From personal experience, pharmacists don’t exactly have a stress-free job
I think there’s nothing wrong with being picky and having lists. But at some point it gets ridiculous when you can’t compromise. For instance there’s nothing wrong with saying I want a girl that is educated, shorter than me, Asian, has a good job, good sense of humor, athletic, etc. The problem is when you’re sooo picky that you say has to be UC educated or better, 5’7” or 5’8”, Chinese/Taiwanese, has to be pharmacist/nurse/optometrist, etc.
One is having standards the other is being too picky. Pick the most important must have traits and be willing to compromise on things that aren’t absolutely essential. Otherwise, I think you’re gonna end up alone for a long time. And also be open to the fact that your wants keep changing. And sometimes the things you think you want are not actually the things you need. So it’s good to just give people a chance cuz you might end up surprised.
Anyways, just my two cents.
@ugly__bird - Les lives! Yeah, it’s not stress free. Old people yelling at you all day when they don’t have approval for their dose of their $2,000 monthly drug. My friend works at a Costco and barely gets a 30 minute lunch. Because she’s usually the only pharmacist there that day, she can’t ever take long lunches or really go out to eat. But the good thing is that you just work your hours and most of the time you don’t have to take it home.
Haha, I work for my tickets, give me some credit! The past week or so I’ve been waking up at 6 or 7 in the morning to work the Gaga presales. But yeah, sometimes I do luck out and get some great shows and great seats. I only go to about 2% of the shows I buy.
@randomnotions - Exactly, that’s my point! It was said in jest, so hopefully you didn’t take me literally, but I made the list so specific that it makes finding someone near impossible. Sure there are things on the list that I might want, but none of them are needs. I listed them to sound like an ass. Sure I’d love to date a 5’8″ Asian girl, but I only know two girls that are that tall. And guess what? Neither of them are knocking on my door.
I hear my friends and their standards or friends tell me about their family members that have such specific standards that they are going to have a hard time finding someone, or if they do find someone, I don’t see how the relationship is could be fun over the long term.
Some of my guy friends in their late 20′s have standards that are way above what they are putting on the table and I have to call them on it. On the flip when girls get older and more accomplished, I think they often feel they are entitled to a certain level of man, but what if those men aren’t chasing? Uh-oh.
Any friends that you see that adhere too tightly to their lists?
good list to have but not a good list to stick to. like everyone else said, its good to have standards but try not to go over board there. i think we are all picky but we should also remember to be realistic. if a guy is a broke ass, not a good looking by most standards, a home body, no career goals, then i doubt a girl who is successful, good looking, goal and family oriented would want to date him.
not referring to you but just generalizing, good luck with your search. i know she’s out there for you! 
i want to watch lady ga ga!!!
good list to have but not a good list to stick to. like everyone else said, its good to have standards but try not to go over board there. i think we are all picky but we should also remember to be realistic. if a guy is a broke ass, not a good looking by most standards, a home body, no career goals, then i doubt a girl who is successful, good looking, goal and family oriented would want to date him.
not referring to you but just generalizing, good luck with your search. i know she’s out there for you! 
i want to watch lady ga ga!!!
passby^^
Dangit, how’d you get the gaga tix! Nice. I was on the citi presale for 40 minutes straight. Sigh.
Absolutely adore This American Life. I have sucky Gaga tix, but we got great Ira Glass seats Saturday. So, somehow the universe evens out.
man, that’s a description of my dream girl too. definitely doesn’t exist in reality then. sigh
@fangstar - i know, where is this girl?
NO one gave a recommendation?! +1 I just added one because your one-liner hit it on the spot. If Dating Is So Easy, Why Aren’t You Dating?
Dating/connecting is a function of both timing and fit. Can’t have just one – need to have both.
@chrispycrunch - thanks for the rec! you know us old schoolers forget to use that… remember when eprops ruled the world?