February 16, 2010
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There Isn’t Always Time For Goodbyes
There are only a few people that have known us our whole lives. This weekend was all about that.
On Tuesday my next door neighbor died. He had weak lungs from smoking years ago, got work done on them last year, and told me he could feel the increased power and capacity in his lungs. Then for the past couple of months had been in the hospital. There are two families that have been on our street since the houses were built. Ours and his.
I’m not sure how old he was, 60 something, maybe 70. Ehhh, it’s just a neighbor. How many of us know our neighbors? But if you think about it, how many people have known you your whole life? As you get older, that number dwindles. Everyday he said “Good Morning” and “Hi” when he saw me go in and out of my car. When I was a kid, I would swim in his backyard and watch him light the street on fire every 4th of July. How many people say ”Hi” to you everyday with a smile? His funeral was Saturday.
I didn’t and couldn’t attend the funeral and that really burned in me. We traveled up to San Jose this weekend for my grandmother’s 90th birthday party. I haven’t seen my grandma in years and she’s starting to forget things, but she still remembers me and she kept on smiling when she saw me. The first thing she said in Mandarin was, “You’ve gotten fatter (Ni pang la ee dian).”
We booked a private room at Dynasty Seafood in Cupertino and the meal was beyond superb. Dynasty Seafood is this huge Chinese restaurant that probably can hold 1,000 people. One of the ladies in our party said she had been to three dinners in the past three weeks there celebrating New Year’s and the food quality was the best on our night, which is saying a lot because that restaurant is perfect every night. I was the third youngest person in the room. The crowd was old. When the dinner ended, I walked Grandma out and stood and held her hand for five minutes as she waited for my cousin to bring the car around.
It’s a hard weekend when you have to choose between celebrating two people that have known and taken care of you your whole life and you can’t spend time with both, even when one dies. It’s not a matter of who’s more important, sometimes you just can’t be two places at once, no matter how hard you try.
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Comments (9)
I live near Dynasty!
@miss_prettyinpink - I shoulda called you out to say hi. =) What’s your fave dish there? I’ll have to post the pics later…
@djcaptainzowie - Yes you should have! Did you go to Fantasia? That’s my favorite boba place EVER!
I actually don’t eat at Dynasty much. I’m not a big fan of Cantonese-style Chinese food…
@miss_prettyinpink - Darn, my cousin didn’t tell me about Fantasia. The one we stayed with is older and lives in San Jose near Alum Road. But in the morning we did eat at Chef Woo on Bollinger. I liked their sao bing and yuo taio, cold peanut noodles, and sweet fan twan, but thought the green onion pancakes were a little limp. We were only in the area for like a day and half. Couldn’t really explore (like I normally would) since I was with the full family.
awww
Well you can always visit him at the cemetery. Happy New Year. My prayers goes out to your neighbor.
dont worry, story of my life is “wei she me ni you pang le?”
i think they expect a 90 pound anorexic asian girl instead of me
you chose to celebrate your grandmother’s life over your neighbour’s death. it’s a hard one, but i think you made the best decision. either way, you can’t really do over. you always have the memories, at the end.
have a great lunar new year.
@aliceandrandy - But I don’t know where he’s buried!
@jillstarr - tell your aunts, “wo kwai yo gen ni yang da!”
@M_E_M_O_I_R - Grandmother is family, so of course people would always pick that first, but I’m not sure there is a right answer. Happy New Year to you too!
Sorry to hear that