August 4, 2009
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I feel my most manly when I can name the classical song that’s playing on the radio. I was driving back on lunch break and yelled, “Beethoven’s 7th! Beethoven’s 7th!” Song ends. Announcer says I’m right.
Tell me one more time girls, you’ve read “Eat, Pray, Love” and “The Alchemist?” If there’s one thing that pops more than anything else on womens’ online dating profiles, it’s this. Maybe that was the last thing you read, but do you think men care? It’s like me saying that I love watching MMA and playing video games. Is that really a turn on to the opposite sex?
Guys Stalk, Girls Smother
I was supposed to go on an online date with this girl and we set up date, but it’s a week later. For someone I don’t know, that’s a lot of dead air time. When you’ve already established you’re curious enough to meet someone, how much more can you talk about before the day without taking out all the mystery? That’s the dilemma I was in. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to the girl, it’s that I want to know that I’m attracted to the person (in person) before I overinvest words. I sound like a snob.
In the week leading up to the date, I get three short emails (two or three lines) a day from this person. It’s sort of cute, but something feels off and I can’t put a finger on it. This is a person that hasn’t revealed their full name to me, wanted my phone number so that they could call me (they did), but then wouldn’t give out their number in return (restricted cell line). I understand a girl needing to protect herself, but it feels very untrusting to not give out at least one of the above (real name or phone number). Anyhow, no biggie.
You know me, I started thinking. What if I was emailing some online girl that I never met before three times a day? What if I called her a few times, but wouldn’t give out my number, only talking to her during my convenient times? What if I gave out a very ambiguous first name? It would be creepy. I would seem stalker, two timing, or desperate. But if a girl is doing it, does that mean it’s okay, that it feels like she’s into you? No, not really. It feels smothering. It gives off the sense that she’s needy and I don’t do well with overly dependent, overly needy girls. If she’s checking in with me ever two or three hours already, if we start dating, is she gonna be calling me every hour on the hour?
Girl, as charming as you are, I’m a guy. I need to see who you are first before I can get that excited. Yes, I’m shallow like that. If you’re picture isn’t that clear (it wasn’t), then I’m guarded, because you might be that tranny I always nightmared about. Or you might look 10 years older and 20 lbs fatter than your picture. As much as you want to, resist messaging me every couple of hours. It scares me.
- Girls… What subtle things tip you off that your date might be potential creep or stalker?
- Guys… What’s your way of telling if a girl you don’t yet know will be overly needy, demanding, or possessive?
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Comments (9)
Yeah that girl seems to on the overly protective side. I don’t think the short email thing is a biggie unless she sends it even you don’t respond.
I assume all females are overly needy, demanding, or possessive. it’ll eventually come out sooner or later.
omg!! There was this one guy that I dated and the few times that I met up with him, he would refer to how everytime he googled my name, different links would come up. At first I thought it was kinda cute, but by the 3rd date we went on he wouldn’t stop with the “googling my name” deal and it really started creeping me out. (Like it was some sort of weird obsession) Oh yeah—and the last date we went on (which was also the 3rd I believe when I completely cut it off) he decided to wear a UFC t shirt with nice blue jeans and dress shoes. I think that ultimately helped make my decision to break all ties!! SCARY!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha
I’m just getting on this whole dating thing myself so I’ll get back to you on that. Shesh… is this how it is after 12 years out of the game?! scary.
lol…honestly, stalking someone a little isnt a bad idea. especially if youre going to be potentially dating. i mean if you find they have record or something, wouldnt it be nice to know before you met up? and her writing you little stuff just might be her way of keeping in touch and letting you know she is still indeed interested and thinking of you. if she writes your letters of confessions regaling her love for you, then you should worry
@fangstar - all girls are needy? is that why you’re still single? haha. i don’t know if all are needy, demanding or possessive. but they are all psycho. that i understand and accept.
@xtineey - every once in awhile i’ll google some of my friends’ names. i’m a stalker! once i googled djcaptainzowie and it looked like it linked to some porn site (djcaptainzowie appearing between words like big boobs and milf). what’s wrong w/ affliction shirts? j/k. my personal preference, i’m not big on MMA clothes or Ed Hardy (gasp!). i don’t really care if girls wear Ed Hardy, but guys, it seems douchy.
@VidaLoca - online dating is one weird monster. you are trying to make a connection out of nothing but so much can get read into what isn’t or isn’t revealed on the profile.
@HushNowLuv - i agree, a little attention is flattering and keeps the excitement up. but there were some other factors. she’s currently not working (like a lot of people) and doesn’t have many outside hobbies, which is okay, but she was constantly online, which is also okay, but then she would make comments like, “you are on that dating site a lot aren’t you? your profile always pops up on the recent activity list.” ummmm doesn’t that means she’s on a lot too? i’m at work and sometimes sign in for 15 seconds to check my profile. so it shows that i’ve been on, but i’m rarely “online now.” and i would get the same questions during every day, “how’s work, you busy?” or “oh you must’ve been busy since you didn’t respond for awhile…” which is cute and nice, but i had month end accounting and we are getting audited this week so i hinted that it would be a very busy couple of weeks. i hinted it a few times. i think trading an email every day or two leading up the day is a good, but a few times a day gets weird if crosses from light and flirty to weird or stalker questions. at least she didn’t email telling me how i seemed like the perfect guy. that would’ve been scary.
LOL @ the classical song naming.. that’s a first =)
i would think that since the e-mail is already a line of communication, the exchange of numbers wouldn’t need to be done until after the date to see if the interest is there.
have you found that a lot of girls look different than they do in their pictures? i would think that a girl would just be honest ahead of time and put a realistic picture up because if things get good, the guy is going to see what she looks like anyways..
@djcaptainzowie -
ok either shes on the site stalking your profile, or shes on that thing wayyyy too much herself. but maybe shes on there wayyyyy too much cus shes checking your activities. like trying to see if perhaps you’re chatting up someone else too. girls…we’re neurotic
funny about the classical song. i really like this one bach one and i couldnt find the name of it for the longest time. too bad we’re not friends and you werent around. ha! thankfully, a friend of mine knew. anyhoo, i think she was just being protective of her identity and wanted to make sure that she isnt meeting some psycho dude that is going to stalk her later on. if you have a bad feeling about it, just move on. it’s not good going into a relationship with a bad feeling.
@grey_sea_days - every girl is different (and unique and special and…). some are comfortable with arranging meeting through email, others want to talk to the guy first. picture wise, there are two types of girls. one that puts up exactly what they look like, and others that don’t put up pics or put up hazy or long distance pics. often the person w/out a pic says they want a person to like them for who they are, not just their looks. well, for guys, looks are a part of who you are and it matters. i want a smart, charming girl, but i have to know that i’m also somewhat physically attracted right? that’s where the girl mentality of i want you to like me for my personality only goes wrong. you’re right, in the end, it’s all going to catch up, just show yourself. there are some who don’t put up pics because they don’t want people finding them online, but they’ll gladly send you pictures after they start communicating, that’s totally cool.
this girl had a couple of slightly out of focus pics up. from what i could make out, she looked normal enough to at least meet. in person she looked a little different, but not totally different. so far, everyone i’ve met has looked like their pictures. haven’t had any fakers so far. there was one girl who looked really good and natural in her pictures, then i met her, and the pictures looked like her, but for some reason it didn’t translate to real life. i’m wary if they only have up glam shots.
@HushNowLuv - i should’ve told her i was catting up ten girls a day! haha. it’s okay to be a little stalker after you know me, but not before. at least play like you’re not a stalker. fool us and suck us into your trap first!
@In_Paradisum - it’s perfectly fine if girls want to protect their name, phone number, real email… but the combo of the blurry picture and always checking to see if i’m online, that’s what made it all a little… ehhhh. pink flag!